Jeremiah Hoyet

No, I’m not writing about the illegal drug Cocaine. I’m writing about an energy drink that has one hell of a kick.

Being a big fan of coffee, I recently started venturing off into energy drinks for a number of reasons. For one, they don’t leave you with stained teeth, and since I still live at home, I don’t have to share my supply of caffeine. Being diabetic has somewhat limited my options when it comes to these perk ups, but several major brands do make great sugar free energy drinks. My favorite of which is Red Bull Sugar Free, Monster also has a sugar free version of their drink, but in my opinion Red Bull tastes better.

Having a new taste of liquid energy, I’ve been wanting to try an energy drink that made some headlines earlier in 2007. Cocaine (now known as “No Name”) energy drink has been on my list of things to try for some time now, and I finally got around to ordering a can of this stuff last week. It arrived at my house and was place immediately in the freezer to cool down, I was really anxious to know what it tasted like.

After a 30 minute cool down, it was time to pop the tab and give it a sip. First off, I bought the “Cut” version of the drink. The original is said to have a burning sensation when the liquid travels down your throat, much like drinking a very strong whiskey. The cut version, however, does not have this effect and to me tasted like some red-colored soda I had previously enjoyed before I was diagnosed with diabetes and could not have anymore regular pop. The taste was great, much better than the taste of Red Bull and a thousand times better than the taste of Monster.

What A Kick In The Ass

Cocaine does not mess around. The can holds 8.2oz of liquid and that tiny amount of liquid holds a whooping 280mg of caffeine. That’s around the same amount as three expressos, 2-3 cups of coffee, and the same amount of Red Bull only holds 80mg of caffeine. So obviously, this drink has one hell of a kick. I can attest to this, I was awake until the very wee hours of the night/morning and still going strong a good 12 hours after I drank it. I’ve never had anything quite like it, and I’m a caffeine nut.

I’m probably not going to be drinking these on a regular basis, though. The caffeine content is just too great and my love for other forms of caffeine would probably put my health at risk if I were to say, drink a can of Cocaine and then have a couple cups of coffee. It just isn’t safe. I am going to order a case of this stuff, but I’ll probably reserve it for nights of programming when I need that extra boost to keep me awake.

The Name

Doing some research on the drink, one will most likely become very confused about the name of the product. In the United Kingdom this drink is still sold under the name “Cocaine”, while in the United States it has been re-labeled “No Name” after a trademark opposition filed by 5 law school students citing that the name of the product was “immoral”.

I’m kind of on the edge about the name, but to be honest, I don’t care. It’s just an energy drink and if America has come to the point where an energy drink’s name offends you or, better yet, makes you think you’re actually consuming an illegal drug. . . . we have some serious problems.